Dearie,
this is the first time we are clebrating your birthday together :) Hope it will be a memorable one.. And all the best for your CISSP exam :) I love you and Happy Birthday...
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Romance gone wrong
I was just trying to be sweet and romantic but he miunderstood my gd intention. That's very painful...
He used words like :You want to break up with me? I'm totally fine with it." He said I'm immature and I need lots of attention, wants to contact him every hour because I'm spoilt by my ex. I told him and he usedf it against me again... I've not used harsh words on him hence I'm not sure if he feels tha pain but I do. Words are like swords and it hurts like hell.
I really dunno y I love him but I just do. He comes in a package too. This is just one of the days I hope. I hope 70% of the time he will be sweet and loving. Most of the time I'm hanging out with Sha and not him, I dunno y he said that I need his attention. I asked him to tell me wat I have done but he din want to. If he doesn't say, how would I know? How would I learn? Sometimes I hope he can be a little fairer to me. I know he is frustrated and hard pressed for time and he may be righ that I'm not helping at all...
I'm not leading a single life. I have a bf. I do care about him, I do ask him to study. I ask him what he wants and I try to compromise. In the end it's still my fault. How can I help? How can I let him keep his cool? Disappear from his life or what? I'm like walking on a minefield, not knowing when I'll step on a mine. Or is it that I'm submissive and wanted to be with him that he thinks he can bully me? If he thinks so little of our rel, y am I with him? Doesn't that make me a fool?
I have my dreams, my wishes... I wish he can do well in his exam, stop using harsh words on me, dun be too stressed up and dun flare up too often... I wish I'll do well in my studies, have someone who accepts me for who I am, won't be too clingy to my bf, be firm but not harsh, give in when appropriate and dun let my bf bully me...
He used words like :You want to break up with me? I'm totally fine with it." He said I'm immature and I need lots of attention, wants to contact him every hour because I'm spoilt by my ex. I told him and he usedf it against me again... I've not used harsh words on him hence I'm not sure if he feels tha pain but I do. Words are like swords and it hurts like hell.
I really dunno y I love him but I just do. He comes in a package too. This is just one of the days I hope. I hope 70% of the time he will be sweet and loving. Most of the time I'm hanging out with Sha and not him, I dunno y he said that I need his attention. I asked him to tell me wat I have done but he din want to. If he doesn't say, how would I know? How would I learn? Sometimes I hope he can be a little fairer to me. I know he is frustrated and hard pressed for time and he may be righ that I'm not helping at all...
I'm not leading a single life. I have a bf. I do care about him, I do ask him to study. I ask him what he wants and I try to compromise. In the end it's still my fault. How can I help? How can I let him keep his cool? Disappear from his life or what? I'm like walking on a minefield, not knowing when I'll step on a mine. Or is it that I'm submissive and wanted to be with him that he thinks he can bully me? If he thinks so little of our rel, y am I with him? Doesn't that make me a fool?
I have my dreams, my wishes... I wish he can do well in his exam, stop using harsh words on me, dun be too stressed up and dun flare up too often... I wish I'll do well in my studies, have someone who accepts me for who I am, won't be too clingy to my bf, be firm but not harsh, give in when appropriate and dun let my bf bully me...
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Dearie...
Dearie..
I know I've said this many times but it's the first time I'm writing abt it. Dearie, after we broke up, I tried to convince myself that there isn't a feeling of 'the one' coz I had that feeling but in the end we still broke up.
I thought by going overseas might do me gd but everything juz reminded me of u. It made me so sad.. I told myself that u din want to be in touch with me anymore or u have moved on. I comforted myself that everything would be fine as time passes by. I din know how much effect u have on my life till we broke up. I even thought that only miracle will bring us back tog again.
That night, I dreamt of u. I hesitated as I did not know if I should contact u.. In the end I still took the first step to email u.. Never did I expect u to reply :) well, the rest of the story u know already :)
It is indeed a miracle that we r tog again.. I think the break up did us gd.. It teaches me how to appreciate u even more, allows me to know how much I love u.. I hope we will both keep our temper in check n dun ever say break up again, coz it hurts :)
I love u dearie.. Truly do n u know ;)
I know I've said this many times but it's the first time I'm writing abt it. Dearie, after we broke up, I tried to convince myself that there isn't a feeling of 'the one' coz I had that feeling but in the end we still broke up.
I thought by going overseas might do me gd but everything juz reminded me of u. It made me so sad.. I told myself that u din want to be in touch with me anymore or u have moved on. I comforted myself that everything would be fine as time passes by. I din know how much effect u have on my life till we broke up. I even thought that only miracle will bring us back tog again.
That night, I dreamt of u. I hesitated as I did not know if I should contact u.. In the end I still took the first step to email u.. Never did I expect u to reply :) well, the rest of the story u know already :)
It is indeed a miracle that we r tog again.. I think the break up did us gd.. It teaches me how to appreciate u even more, allows me to know how much I love u.. I hope we will both keep our temper in check n dun ever say break up again, coz it hurts :)
I love u dearie.. Truly do n u know ;)
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