Think when you're still a KID

A video you can share with your students, dearie. Here.

May God bless you and give you strength and wisdom.

Fair

Yes, that's the word that causes problems in my relationship with you, dearie.

I use dearie because you are my dearie. You said you'll keep "dearie" aside for me but you do not use it but expect me to be gentle and kind towards you, not to be cold towards you. Re-read all the smses you sent to me, how "cold" they were towards me. Talking about being fair. You make me tear as I write this. I wasn't scolding you, I was just telling you how I felt but you will always come up with "I will not contact you again". Even for calling your brother because I was worried, you shut me out and accused me of bothering you. Reasons after reasons, to cut me off. So yes, I'm the one not being fair here, not you. Enough, I don't want to quarrel or argue, trust me. I just want this all to be over, forever.

Yesterday night, you've texted me a good night message while I was in living room doing my work. When I came back into my room I've read two messages, the latter being "I'm ok if u don't want to keep in touch. I can leave u alone, I can understand" which was sent 4 minutes after you've sent the first one.

When you were angry at me, when you haven't simmer down, I've texted you to have a good day at church or good night messages, but you do not reply. I may have to wait a very long to receive a text from you or "none" at all but do I misunderstand? I just know that you're going through a lot so I leave you alone. You said "I just want to concentrate on my work for now", which is fine ... I didn't bother you at all, did I? I just want you to have peace dearie. I know the message was innocent but if I were you, I feel that if I miss someone, I would tell it directly. I do truly miss you too, just so that you know.

You've already walked out of my life, flying away like a bird. I have nothing to loose, or fear. I just have this enormous faith in God. Also you can't cut off love like that, especially someone so special to you -- so I just don't want to bother you because my love for you can't be stopped. You should not try to use being in contact as a threat because it hurts. I can't control you and I didn't control whatever you want to do; be it walking away or coming back to my life. I let you be, I let you do it, didn't I? You know what you are doing and I'll just pray God will guide you through.

A trip to Zoo

A year ago on this day...

Dearie and I first realized our feelings for each other. Although our lives are hectic and shortage of time now even to share about ourselves, I hope this is just temporary because at the end of the day, we all need to go "home" and home is where your loved ones are. I used to look at my education and my career and thinking that I'm doing all this for "us", for our better future. But I've realized at the long day at work, I will inevitably be going home and family is the only thing that matters. I thank Lord for giving me an opportunity to see through this incredible vision and I pray that he protect and guide my dearie every step of the way. Amen.

Psalm 23

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

³ he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

⁴ Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, ^a]">[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

⁶ Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Comfortable

Recently I've realized that I've never looked through your phone to play games nor explored your phone. I've never see the things in your wallet. Why? Because you have guarded your privacy too much and you think that all Singaporeans are after money, including me. I've never asked about your pay, savings, investments etc because you didn't like it. However, as a couple, they should be comfortable to talk and share about all these. Not that they are money minded, but rather, open enough with each other.. You may not agree, but just some thoughts.

God's Answer - 10.10.10

“If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.” -- Anonymous

In love, we win very rarely, but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself. There comes a time when we stop loving someone, not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that, they'd be happier if we let go....

Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss? This is because THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE UNSEEN.

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world.
 It's the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched our 
lives.

A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for them, it's when they ignore you and still you long for them. It's when they begin to love another and yet you smile and say, "I'm happy for you." If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.

The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall. Somehow, along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize that there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made. Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go but how you hold on.

You once told me.. you're living in vain because so many failed relationships. I guess you are tired and hurt; retreating into your cave again... Hope you recover soon dearie.

Wish you happiness and peace throughout your life journey and able to smile from the bottom of your heart.

Dearie

Dearie...

It's been over a month since I last heard you call me that... thank you for warming my heart with your words, dearie :) I deeply and truly care about it, you know that...

I know we both had been very busy lately and although I wish I could spend more time with you talking or even listening to things that you have to say... it seems that it's not possible. So I decided to pray for you whenever I think of you.. that's the only way I feel that I'm with you by your side.

I don't wish to disturb you while you're doing something or sleeping ... so I tried not to text you. We had communication problems in the past... hope we can sort this area out :)

I wish to tuck you in your bed and wish you sweetest dreams and kiss you good night, dearie. If I'm only allowed to do that for the rest of your life...

Love you always (and you know)
Mike Dearie

Dreams

I've been having dreams that are vivid and which revolves around dearie. When I messaged her about it earlier, she said what I dreamt was real.

In my dreams, I'm having dreams that dearie is having nightmares, restless, or waking up quite often at nights, and sometimes even waking up earlier. When she wakes up in my dreams, I also wake up in my own dream. When I looked at the watch.. sometimes it's middle of the night, sometimes around 5 am and I couldn't get back to sleep. I'm not sure if dearie remembers the movie we watched together called "Inception". It's real in my dreams and it's vivid. I also dreamt in my dreams that she's crying. When I read her blog entry, I was quite surprised how my dreams are connected to hers...

Whenever I wake up from the dreams, I will pray and wish her sound and restful sleep. Since I couldn't be there to hold her so that she won't have nightmares, I only wish that those dreams will be over soon for her.

I take this time to pray, as I do every night, that she will have complete "rest" in the Lord so that he can work on her and grant her the strength. May all these nightmares and weird dreams perish under the name of Jesus. Amen.

Quarrel

Had a quarrel with a friend of 22 years... Guess the friendship is over. Have problem with my family too.. Been crying over the past few days/ week... been praying and hope everything will be over soon...