Fair

Yes, that's the word that causes problems in my relationship with you, dearie.

I use dearie because you are my dearie. You said you'll keep "dearie" aside for me but you do not use it but expect me to be gentle and kind towards you, not to be cold towards you. Re-read all the smses you sent to me, how "cold" they were towards me. Talking about being fair. You make me tear as I write this. I wasn't scolding you, I was just telling you how I felt but you will always come up with "I will not contact you again". Even for calling your brother because I was worried, you shut me out and accused me of bothering you. Reasons after reasons, to cut me off. So yes, I'm the one not being fair here, not you. Enough, I don't want to quarrel or argue, trust me. I just want this all to be over, forever.

Yesterday night, you've texted me a good night message while I was in living room doing my work. When I came back into my room I've read two messages, the latter being "I'm ok if u don't want to keep in touch. I can leave u alone, I can understand" which was sent 4 minutes after you've sent the first one.

When you were angry at me, when you haven't simmer down, I've texted you to have a good day at church or good night messages, but you do not reply. I may have to wait a very long to receive a text from you or "none" at all but do I misunderstand? I just know that you're going through a lot so I leave you alone. You said "I just want to concentrate on my work for now", which is fine ... I didn't bother you at all, did I? I just want you to have peace dearie. I know the message was innocent but if I were you, I feel that if I miss someone, I would tell it directly. I do truly miss you too, just so that you know.

You've already walked out of my life, flying away like a bird. I have nothing to loose, or fear. I just have this enormous faith in God. Also you can't cut off love like that, especially someone so special to you -- so I just don't want to bother you because my love for you can't be stopped. You should not try to use being in contact as a threat because it hurts. I can't control you and I didn't control whatever you want to do; be it walking away or coming back to my life. I let you be, I let you do it, didn't I? You know what you are doing and I'll just pray God will guide you through.