The Proposal

I have always had this idea of us getting married, and living happily in our own home, taking care of our children. When I talked to people around me about proposal, they said it is only the initial step in the marriage and there are many more things to over come as a married couple, husband and wife who supports and cherish each other. I've grown so much since I'm with you, learning from you, you have taught me a lot of good things in life Dearie.

I wanted to do something special for our proposal. I wanted to surprise you. I've booked the window seat at Equinox when we had our first date together as Gor and MeiMei. I've kept the first lecture note that you've taken during my lecture in 23 Nov 2010 and I've put it as the first page of my scrapbook, made with my loving hands to surprise you. The Cover was also one of our favorite photos -- but it's not 100% complete yet. I had to specially order the engraved "Our Journey" pendant to stick on the cover under our photo and it will only be ready by Wednesday. The scrapbook itself speaks it all.


































Ring order, which will be ready by Wednesday. Lee Hwa's been one of my favorites as their diamonds are top grade.

The Plan:
Place my camera at Equinox to record the video of the proposal later. Flowers delivered by 6pm so that they can keep at and give you later after the proposal. The scrapbook which I will carry with me and of cos the ring. Before the dinner and we start eating, I'll say grace as I've now learn to thank the Lord for giving us this meal in front of us. After main course, I'll take out the scrapbook and hand it to you. When you are finished, I'll kneel beside you and ask you "Dearie, will you marry me please and let me be your companion and partner in life, God as our guidance in our home and relationship." Then the camera will take video, the cake with "Will you marry me?" will be our dessert and flowers will be giving to you then.

After that, I'll accompany you to your home, and notify your parents. At the same time, call my parents and let them know as well.

It takes sincerely, pure determination, clear mind and lots of love to prepare this surprise proposal. However, it seems that I cannot have a surprised one as my dearie has already told me not to contact her. If she wishes that, I'll let her be but I want her to know that I truly love her, wish nothing but peace, harmony and happiness in her life. Although I won't have a chance, I want to thank her for being with me all these while and her guidance.

May God be with you always.

Love you always.

Faith

Dear Lord

I know you can see us through that I only have good intentions for my dearie. If she chooses to believe that I'm causing her harm, so be it. All I can do is pray for her and trust that you will have good plans for her future. I want nothing from her; but wishes for her that she will do well and have her peace with you. Lord, I'm not between you and my dearie, I'm right under your love, your filial son. My wrong doings in the past disgrace you my lord, and I've sinned. My dearie misunderstood me but I will never move an inch. My love, my diginity and my faith for you is strong. I trust in you that you will show her that I'm not who she thinks I am. My lord, this journey is long but I will walk because you have to break me again and again. Please change me completely or take me with you for eternity as it is so tough to be here dear Father.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Repentance

Today's sermon was about the continuation of the Prosperity Gospel last week. The pastor opened with the last three wishes of Alexander the great. Alexander said: "I want everyone to understand the three lessons I have learned.

1) To let my physician carry my coffin alone is to let people realize that a physician cannot really cure people’s illness. Especially when they face death, the physicians are powerless.
2) I hope people will learn to treasure their lives. My second wish is to tell people not to be like me in pursuing wealth. I spent my whole life pursuing wealth, but I was wasting my time most of the time.
3) My third wish to let people understand that I came to this world in empty hands and I will leave this world also in empty hands."

For the last wish of his, I quote my dearie, "Live your life in such a way that when you were born, you cry and the world rejoice, when you die, the world cries and you rejoice... A value I hold." When you do things for yourself, your career, those things also die with you. When you do things for others, they remained even when you've died.

Repentance is the act of changing one's mind. Repentance involves changing one's affections - from earthly things to heavenly things. It involves turning to the living God from a god of self. It is looking unto Christ instead of looking unto another. Repentance must be followed by works proving that change. All men need to repent. All men sin and as a result, all men need to turn from sin and turn to righteousness; unrighteous people need to repent.

They are not told to wait, to read, to pray, to receive an experience, to relate a revelation in the expectation that repentance will be given to them. Such unrighteous beings are to repent, to change their affection, and to turn to the Lord. There is a blessing in repentance. For the one who has never been baptized into Christ, turning to the God is the initial step of his response to the love of God which he has heard, and believed, by hearing the life of Jesus Christ, the Savior of man. When man sins, he must either repent or perish. When man comes loving his sins and resolving to continue practicing them, God will not hear him. (John 9: 31, I Peter 3: 12).

Repentance is the 180 degrees turn in one's life, rejoining the fellowship with God and his kingdom. When I was a non-believer, I thought I'm in control of my life and hurt the precious daughter of God, my dearie. The first lesson I've learned in Repentance is fear; fear of God, and his wisdom and love that he has shown upon us, and I have neglected his blessings. Second lesson I've learn is love, the love of Jesus for me and us, that he died for our sins.

I have learned to be compassionate and take responsibility for each other. If we only learned those lessons, this world would be so much better a place. I hereby pray that the sorrows, pains and shatters of hearts will be never repeated again in our lives because as the rightful daughter and son of the God, we both will learn to respect each other and not to use each other as "washpots" because that will disgrace our Lord. Amen.

Today's sermon

Today, Pastor mentioned about chastenment. It's not a pleasant process. Chastenment is "child train". It means disciplining your child in another words. This is very applicable to us.

When I dated a non-believer, he showed me how painful it can be. He also showed you how to control your temper by using me as your "washpot". A washpot is something or someone that is obstructing you for you to learn something. E.g. you are impatient with slow drivers, and on the road, there is always a slow driver in front of you. That is what Lord wants us to learn.

Chastenment comes in various forms, but will not result in death coz after the chastenment or punishment, you are supposed to learn.

References of the sermon was not taken down as I dun have the habit of taking notes during sermon anymore. I only remember Hebrew 12: 5. Hope it helps :)

Dear God

Dear God

Your beloved daughter Kris Dearie and your beloved son Mike Dearie had a great talk on Wednesday morning after agreeing not to communicate for a week to give her peace and time to reflect. We've communicated so much at the emotional level and I can sense your presence and power and we're thankful for your guidence and love onto both of us.

Dear God, I have been wrong to my dearie, my beloved, my life, my soul and my partner. Lord, I only pray the best for her and you'll guide her through every step of the way. Dear father, I have been a fool, naive and selfish, not to mention poor judgement and wisdom, but my lord, I have awoken by your will like a sun that shines through the deepest of the darkness, showing me all your plans that you have for me and for us. If not for your love, I will still "play God" thinking everything can be done by me and using my poor decisions and always doing the wrong things. I've put myself onto your hands, and my dearie also had put herself onto your loving hands, and we're both seeking your kingdom, and your righteousness, and all these things shall be added to us (Matthew 6:33).

Dear father, I know you can see through me, watching me from above, that there isn't a single moment of my mind not thinking or caring about my dearie. Every movement or action I'm going to make, I have to think at least a few times, such as SMSing, giving her a call, Blogging, wanting to see her, wanting to talk to her and wanting be with her all the time. Dear Lord, it is so tough to be here but I understand you will want to show me through all this because my Lord, without these wisdoms and knowledge, I will remained in the dark forever. As we do not want to pursue hardship and discomfort nor persecution, we refused to accept that only through this journey, we will be able to reach to our destination; stability, comfort and love which we will know how to truly cherish.

My mind is your will, and your will is my command my Lord. From this day onwards, I promise that I will do the best of my ability to cherish your loved generations, sons and daughers like never before, not a single pinch of harm shall come onto her, and because of you my Lord, I have been enlightened. I only have good intentions for my dearie as you know it, and I have no ill-intentions whatsoever in everything I do for her. Dear Lord, we know you have the best for us and you will only guide the best plan for us. May these true statements be my pledge for us to bring us together until the end of our times. Thank you father, Amen.

Peace

Dearie,

I must admit to you that I've foolishly been selfish, giving you no space and peace, that you deserve. We will try to listen to God's plan and wait for a week. If there is no sign from your part yet, we will keep in touch again and wait for the next sign. I have learned to look beyond needs, satisfaction and selfishness. For all the things that I've done, I'm truly and genuinely sorry, and I'll take full responsibility for my past actions, but my sincere apologies to you, the one and only I love, my dearie. I've decided to give you time to reflect, and not to tamper with your thoughts by calling you, smsing you, and disturbing you while you're at peace.

Looking forward, I've made up my mind to change for better, the will that is never been so great and strong. I've plans with my dearie, short and long term, if she decided to change her mind, the door is always opened -- knowing that she once did it for me too. She asked "if you wanted me to wait, I'll wait for you forever." And that time I told her "Dearie, it's unfair." Now it's my turn to say, "I'll be here forever for you."

My plans that are simple yet meaningful include:
1) Love her and cherish her everyday like never before
2) Not to bully her ever again, verbally or otherwise, I'll give in to her because I love her so much
3) Say "Good morning, dearie" whenever I wake up to my dearie with a kiss, followed by "I Love You" while holding her
4) Go to church together on Sundays with her, be her companion and life partner, raising our kids and be a good father
5) Decorate our house, hang the words of Lord Jesus, pack our beds with soft toys for her (bumbum and kelly get exclusive space)
6) Bring "girl" to our place and let her stay with us because she means a lot to me as well as to dearie
7) Go holidays with her without fail every time we have a break
8) Have mutual friends, who are stable and can give us good guidance and godly counsels
9) Go blading and jogging together and join her for the runs
10) Accompany her to buy shoes and be her fashion stylist
11) Join her for family dinners with her parents, and her sister's family, treat her family like my own
12) Sponsor my parents to come to Singapore again and let them see my gf and wife-to-be in person whom they will love to the bits
13) Make breakfasts for her, and wake up early to pray together with her
14) Be tolerant towards my dearie, and brighten her mood by giving her flowers, cards, little notes and be a good pair of ears for her to listen to her daily problems
15) Accompany her while she's studying and marking either at home or outside
16) Take pictures for her and the photos of "us" and decorate our house with photos
17) Will do things that will only bring joy and happiness into our lives and never do things that will make us apart ever again, because I know our love is strong
18) Give her emotional support and be her consultant in life situations
19) Praise her because she is truly unbelievable, and thank her for everything she has done for me, and remind each other why we are so lovable couple and everyone is jealous to know our "secret ingredient" for happy and successful marriage.
20) Be a good husband that will raise up and kids, since both of us are teachers, we will infuse good family values and life practices into our children and generations

I will miss you dearie, but I hope during this time, you will be able to reflect in peace, I will be able to improve myself even further through the knowledge and wisdom. I know that trust has to be earned so here I am, your other half waiting for you to discover the world ahead of us. Do let me know when you are ready to talk. Whatever it may be, I have faith in us and can feel that we will go very very far as a loving and perfect couple.

Truly yours
Love you always
Mike Dearie

Guilt

I know you have been trying very hard to gain my trust again, trying to change over a new leaf. The more I see you do all these, the more guilty I am. I am not trying to change you, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I do not want to see you so unhappy... I'm sorry to bring you so much pain and hurt... I'm really sorry

Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength - St Francis de Sales