My First Post

This is my first personal blog after so many years. As the title of the blog suggests, this blog will exist for only a year. Main reason, very simple, to be in touch with you when you are away :)

I don't know when is the right time to contact you, how I should contact you. With blogging, it's better, you can know everything about me when you check out this blog. I will give you the pw for the blog too so that you can blog here if you want to :)

In this blog, I'll be very transparent. I'm someone who writes diary, but for the next year, till you are back, I'll be blogging here instead of writing my diary. I just want you to know me better, how I think and everything about me. Some things I blog may offend you, if so, I'm sorry.

First, let's start with today :) I hate being sick. When I'm sick, I feel vulnerable. I wish that someone can take care of me. When I almost fainted in school, I felt scared. I did not have this feeling since 12. Principal asked me to get someone to pick me up as I could not go home on my own. For a moment, I was lost. I did not know who to call. Parents were at work, Alex is having reservist, even if he is not having reservist, he will be working. You, you have to work too. I called brother. He grumbled. It's really not my fault to be so sick. I hate to be a burden to anyone.

In school, I'm a pillar to my colleagues. At heart, I'm someone so vulnerable. I do feel weak at times too. I miss the time when someone sponged me when I was having fever, took me to the doctor. I know you can't do this because you are working, you are busy. I understand. I'm not complaining because you have no obligation to care for me, but I know you do.

If I want you to care for me, I have to appear in front of you, then you will care for me hehe that's how I feel. I don't know why I can't be very frank with you. I'm afraid you will get angry, say I expect a lot etc. I hope with this blog, I can pour my heart out, regardless you read or not :)