Humiliation

Sometimes, thinking back on the things that you said about me, I feel so humiliated. I've never said that someone is not good enough for me and you said that twice to me. What you don't like about me is my weaknesses, what I don't like about you, you pass it off as that's you and I have to learn to accept it. It's not fair dearie. Am I a sand bag to tolerate your blows, a sponge to absorb all humiliation? I have feelings dearie, much more sensitive than many people. My HOD said that it's good to be sensitive. A strength to one, is a weakness to another.

At times I feel so upset for my parents. A gal who seems to be successful in life has to stoop so low just for someone she loves. I wonder if I will ever snap and decide to leave you. I'm hurt and my heart is bleeding but you won't care...I don't know why I'm still holding on when you are so harsh to me. A fool or it's love?

In your equation, I'm inconsistent unknown variable. Actually in this rel equation, you are the inconsistent one. At any point, any moment, you will give up. Any thing that makes you unhappy, you will threaten to give up and I have to beg you and suffer your verbal punches. But me, you know, is always there, trying to stay put. Who is then the inconsistent one? I have no security in this relationship as I don't know when you will leave me. Teach me, what should I do? How will you become consistent? If I have no security, how can I be emotionally stable?

You give me no space to make mistakes, no space to voice out, only through this blog... But you forgot that I'm not perfect