Probably the last...

This may be the last post... This blog doesn't seem to serve it's purpose. It's a place I seek comfort, a place I open up and seek solace, but I guess there are still some things I can't be open or truthful about.

You were asking about happiness... My happiness is when you are happy, doing what you want to do. Sometimes, letting go is the best way to love a person, just like letting you leave me as that is what you want. You didn't want me, so I won't say I have a bf. If I don't have a bf, I will behave differently, shouldn't I? See? I'm so confused... I hate myself, I hate the situation I'm in. I was always afraid of losing you but right from the start, I've never had you. It's just a foolish thought on my part. Status in a relationship seems so important but sometimes they are nothing when you are not treated like a gf or wife. Sometimes, behaving like one but no status is tough to hang on too... I'm not sure if I can give you what you want in this case...