Undying Faith, Time, Destiny and Future

It is inevitable that we all will meet with our father in heaven, we are destined to be that way. Our destiny led us to be here, right place, right time and right persons -- we were so much in love. Some of us let go of love, because we wanted peace, we were afraid to get hurt again, and many other reasons behind. By being careful, we will not receive a full potential love we deserve, because we aren't opening our hearts to the other party. My dearie avoids me, because she thinks that I will propose her anytime and she closed her heart in a safe place where no man can harm her. Only when one day she trusts she will let it out again...

I will only propose to my dearie when she's ready and when she feels secure and trusted. We are talking about marriage and a lifetime of committment here. She doubted my love for her which I do not blame her because of my past actions. She transformed into me, learning from me. In the mean time, I learned from her, slowly transforming myself into being my dearie. She said she doesn't trust me anymore. Trust has to be earned. I totally agree.

But this entry is not about the past. This entry is about the future. There are two kinds of people in this world; one who do not correct their mistakes and keep following the wrong path, and one recover from the wrong path to the right, making improvements in their lives. My dearie's prayers were answered but she doesn't want to be with the person she prayed for anymore. It takes a lot of courage to fall in love deeply and it takes just a slight actions to get hurt and completely scared from it.

My dearie is a sensitive and nice girl, from the start. She had faith in me, that I will be a guy of her dreams. Things weren't better back then, and we struggled in our journey with lots of ups and downs. Then she gave up, and doesn't wish to try anymore. Disheartened, she had decided to give up on everything. She doesn't want to see the future anymore, she is confused, hated me for taking away her future and her life.

She texted me one day and asked, "I wanted to give you a book and hope you will read it." We didn't get a chance to meet up because of the abovementioned reason and soon I end up buying the book. Tuesdays with Morrie touched my dearie's heart and mine as it touched millions of hearts around the world. One thing I learned from the book out of many is that, never give up. Never give up on the people you love, and you treasure and you value. Having faith in them and hoping that they would change for better because none of us were born perfect in this world. Only through events in life, we change for better or worse. This is about undying faith I have in my dearie and myself that we both can't ignore our true love for one another. She has let go because it deeply hurt her but I am here to mend it all over again. Time will tell how it will heal but for now she is not ready.

Life has taught me many lessons even since I was young. I had to struggle my way through college and Uni, get a job and work part time to even get a place to bunk in. I slowly concealed myself to be unemotional and tough guy. My emotional, warm fuzzy personality was enclosed by edgy and tough outlook. I had no one to call for when I needed help, emotional support. Dearie walked into my life and I cared for her like a little sister which I never had. We bonded and would entrust in each other. Life has turned our love into something magical and we were deeply in love like never loved another soul before. We talked about our future and how we would build our home together.

It is ok for dearie to feel all this is a waste for us, and it has no future at all -- but I don't think it's about looking for someone perfect. As we all are imperfect but in the eyes of God, we're perfect, I have learned to see dearie in different perspective. Dearie told me she will date someone else and marry someone else. Sure, if that's what God's plan is for us. I do my part and leave the rest to his righteousness, he will guide us through. I walk this path even without dearie, as much as I wish that we could be a perfect church-going couple with lovely family members around us. It is never too late to plan anything as we learned from our favorite book. Without trying my best I do not wish to give up, dearie hasn't seen the potential that we both can do.

Time is the best cure for both of us right now and give each other a new perspective... Hope God will be with us tomorrow when we meet up and guide us with his wisdom and mercy upon us and bless both of us. Amen.